eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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