Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
