Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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