5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
