i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
