hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
