A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Randomize
