im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
only you would photoshop your dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize