We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
