i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
