Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize