so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize