then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize