i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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