She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
