I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
