was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
