She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
