wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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