Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
