So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
