for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
