Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is Oprah even human
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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