just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
