i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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