Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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