we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
