nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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