Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
