I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
