Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
