One girl and one boy is just not enough.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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