Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
