Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
