i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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