Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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