She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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