woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The adults are the big ones right?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
