it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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