Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
