Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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