just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize