this beer tastes like vomit already
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
