Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize