butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
