It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
