Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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