Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize