Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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