Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
