I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
