He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
