I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
