apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
