I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
