I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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