i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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