You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
