Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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