she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I understand Curling. That high.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We need to get me chipped asap
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
