literally had 100 drinks last night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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