Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize