I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
