All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
