seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
